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daddys-whorecrux:

- You have the right to say no. Yes, you read that right.

- 50 Shades of Grey is not realistic. Sorry to burst that bubble.

- Do your research. Know how to stay safe. Take responsibility for yourself and your own well-being.

- What you enjoy in erotica, or in porn, may not be what you like in real life. What sounds fun in theory, isn’t always so.

- Do not lie about your experience or your limits. You can get yourself into some very, very bad situations by doing so.

- Don’t touch what isn’t yours. This goes for people and things.

- If you’re into edge play, know how to do it as safely as possible. 

- If you’re into blood play, research how to protect yourself against blood borne diseases. 

- If you’re into rope play, make sure that your top is either playing with new rope or knows how to properly sanitize their rope. STD’s, STI’s and other things can be passed via blood or other bodily fluids within certain time frames. Also, educate yourself on nerve damage.

- Learn your limits. Be clear about them. 

- You do not have to play with someone that you don’t want to. Not even if they’re well-known, well-respected & the (supposed) best at what they do.

- Be mindful and respectful of the boundaries of others.

- Do not interrupt someone else’s scene if you haven’t been invited into it. This applies to walking through their scene, walking too close behind a top, asking questions during the scene, talking loudly, etc.

- Manners. Use them.

- Get out into the community if you can. Munches, events, classes, etc. It’s a great way to learn & to meet fellow kinky people.

- Most munches have a vanilla dress code. Most play parties & dungeons will also ask that you arrive either in vanilla clothing, or modestly covered.

- Be respectful of the relationships of others. Do not assume that someone is poly, in an open relationship, or seeking a new partner.

- It can be considered highly disrespectful to call someone else’s dominant Daddy, Sir, or Master. 

- Just because someone is poly/open does not mean they want to fuck you.

- Do NOT be ashamed to use your safe word.

- Kinky sex and BDSM are not mutually exclusive.

- Trust should be earned, not freely given. This goes for your submission, too, since it should be based off of trust (that has been earned).

- BDSM cannot save or fix you. It can be a cathartic release, yes, but it isn’t a magical fix and you cannot expect someone else to save you.

- One of the best pieces of advice I ever received was this: Negotiate what you will do in a scene. Do not only focus on what you won’t do. It is impossible to name every possible thing someone could do to you in a scene. You could say, “No paddling, caning, or bloodplay, everything else is fine” and consider yourself safe only to have them come out with a camel and a giant bottle of lube. If you know exactly what -will- happen in your scene, you’re a lot better off. 

There are so many other things to learn, but these are some very simple basics that can help you as you navigate down the rabbit hole of this lifestyle.

(via thelovelynymphomaniac)